Ninja Wedding (that title makes it sound cooler than it was)

This was the year for weddings, apparently. I had discovered at the beginning of the year that Tracy and Dane were engaged. Some months prior I had received word from Milford that he intended to marry as well, but dismissed it when no communication on my part warranted confirmation from him on the matter. Finally in February he called me out of the blue and told me that he was indeed getting married the next month and wanted me to be the best man. Tracy and Dane were planning their wedding in May, so that put two weddings on my social calendar for the Spring roughly within a month of each other.

The Milford nuptials were planned for Easter weekend. I don’t know what it is with people planning their weddings on Easter weekend - it’s not even a three day weekend or anything - but this is the second one of these I had been invited to over the years. The first was my buddy Dave’s wedding, which was actually performed during the Renaissance Festival, so half the guests were wearing their medieval attire as formal wear. That’s an interesting scene, but it was a pretty ceremony.

Milford’s wedding was to be a hit and run situation for me. I got fitted for the tux here in Savannah and made arrangements to pick it up just before leaving. I would head down Friday, do the wedding on Saturday, go visit my family on Easter Sunday, then back down to Savannah on Monday, where I would drop the tux back off again. Ninja wedding - no muss, no fuss.

Here’s something you probably already know, but I was stunned to discover: When you’re in the wedding party you have to pay for your own clothes. What’s that about, man? Thousands of dollars getting dropped on this thing, but the players have to supply their own costumes? And that’s nothing for guys, who can rent a tux for $130, but imagine what a drag it is for the bridesmaids, having to purchase outright notoriously awful dresses that they don’t even want to wear once. I was not prepared for this.

I mean, I was prepared for it as in I was in a position to afford it, I’m just saying that the whole business seemed so cockeyed that I quietly confirmed this custom with several neutral parties before I was able to reconcile myself with it.

The weekend was hectic, but since the schedule was so tight it was over soon enough. It was somewhat awkward because I didn’t know anyone involved but Milford, and with the exception of one person who’d been a casual acquaintance in college, this was true of the guests as well. I got to give a speech and do the best man toast, so I guess that’s cool, but as soon as the reception was over and Milford and his new bride made their goodbyes, I hopped in the car and drove straight to my parents’ house. Then it was Easter and out.

But I felt like I missed out on something as a best man in that I never had the chance to organize a bachelor party. Not that I wanted to throw a bachelor party for Milford; he and I were not good together under such circumstances. But it still felt like, under normal conditions, that’s something I should have gotten the opportunity to do.

And this nagging thread dangling in front of me would become the carrot of encouragement I needed for my next adventure. As I said, I had another wedding coming up later that Spring.